Four Plus

What do you say to a friend who just ended his “four plus”-year relationship with his girlfriend?

I was actually a bit surprised to hear that my friend broke up with his girlfriend. A bit, because frankly, I am expecting them to break up, just not that soon though. Although he had been talking about getting married already and stuff, I’ve seen him complain on how his relationship was going.

Naturally, I struggled for a thing to say. I can’t imagine how bad he must feel. I’ve never had a relationship that lasted that long, so I wouldn’t really know. And I told him that. I asked him, and was, is, actually hoping that they could still find a fix, but he’s mind’s made up. By the way, I heard the news and the details from my friend a few days he ended his relationship.

And so I sent a text message with that message in the opening sentence of this entry to friends and “textmates” (I have an issue with this particular word; something’s just not right with it) hoping that from the replies, I would be able to form an advice or at the very least a not-so-insane, I-can’t-really-react-because-I’ve-never-experienced-that-kind-of-thing-before reaction to what my friend had been through.

Reply number 1: Just let him express his feelings. Makinig ka lang. That will be enough. La ka rin naman magagawa eh.

Reply number 2: Si **** ba yan? Haha. Maraming memories ang 4 plus years. Ten to twenty percent na yun ng buhay at growth mo. Kung siya ang nakipagbreak, hmm… tingin ba niya yun ang makakabuti?

Reply number 3: Move on and move forward. Mahirap pero yun ang dapat.

Reply number 4: Well... Pag-usapan nila yan!

Reply number 5: Nakakapanghinayang yung time.

Reply number 6: Sayang naman. Bakit? Well, kung di na maayos, wag nang balikan ang nangyari na.

Reply number 7: Dagger, hindi ko din alam, pero I would either let him forget about what happened and take him elsewhere or just listen attentively and do the “I know how you feel” stuff

Reply number 8: be thankful it was just four plus years not five or six or a lifetime in case their married. Mahal magpa-annul. Be thankful it happened now, not later. Four plus years na nga, wag ng dagdagan by being bitter. Charge it to experience. He’ll get over it and he’ll be thankful that it did end. Walang namamatay dahil heartbroken.

In the end, Reply Number 8 won. It stood out, and the last I heard, that’s what my friend is doing right now. He’ll be fine, don’t worry.

But I still wonder, what would you guys say to my friend?