The Race

So little time, try to understand that I’m---
I’m trying to make a move just to stay in the game,
I’m trying to stay awake and remember my name,
But everybody’s changing and I don’t feel the same.
- “Everybody’s Changing” by Keane

***

Wednesday night. I was watching Idol when my phone beeped revealing a text message from my best friend. She told me she just got engaged. I was a bit surprised to hear that news actually.

Met her the next day for lunch along with another friend of ours where we talked about her wedding plans. She’s planning to get married next year. Throughout the conversation I was suggesting a number of wedding songs for her wedding. It’s so funny.

***

Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
- “Put Your Records On” by Corrine Bailey Rae

***

I was on my way home then when I the conversation caught up on me. She’s getting married already! And she and her boyfriend have only been together for about a year when she made that decision. She said it felt right saying yes to the guy. And I bet it did.

Anyway, suddenly out of nowhere I felt nostalgic about it. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for my friend, but all of a sudden I felt like I was being left out, like being stranded on a race and all of my friends are getting married one by one. I was being sucked into that black hole chain of thoughts when I decided to re-evaluate the way I see this.

Finding someone to be with for the rest of your life is difficult. And maybe, I’m just not focusing a lot of energy in being involved in a romantic relationship right now, and I know, I shouldn’t. When the time is right, it will be worth it. Besides, as my friend told me, we always end up with the partner that we deserve.

***

A bit of an amusing anecdote when we were talking on how her boyfriend proposed: She said her boyfriend was planning to ask her but was not prepared. So when she said yes, and after the excitement (not sure of this particular word that I used) settled down, he said he will buy her an engagement ring. I was not surprised at all that my didn’t want an engagement ring.

I told her, “if it will make him happy to buy you that engagement ring let him”.

But she said ,”What for? What will I do with it after the wedding?”

“You’re supposed to wear it with your wedding ring,” I replied.

“I don’t want to have two rings on my finger after we get married. I only need one.”