Weekend Plans

What will I be doing on Sunday? I have work then, probably I will take a leave because of this email I just recieved from a friend:

Dagger,

>>>to ung pupuntahan natin... mag=change sched ka na lang. sabi pati :

Gate 1, South Harbor, Manila Pier 13 (Near Manila Hotel)

If you're travelling from Quiapo (cos i dont know how to get from Katipunan-South Harbor), take a jeepney/FX with a Harrison Plaza sign then alight in Manila City Hall underpass (but dont go down there) then you can see jeepneys with a South Harbor sign right there where you alight. ride the jeepney then tell the driver you have to alight pier 13. :)

If you're going from quirino-taft, take a jeepney/fx with SM Manila City Hall then alight there. Walk down to the underpass to get to the other side of the road then you'll see the jeepney with South Harbor signs then tell the driver you have to alight in pier 13. :) from there, you will see signs/directions going to the ship. you have to walk a little. :)

>>>tapos kain tayo sa harbor view... isama mo si may!!!!!!

Colombian naval training ship to visit Manila July 30-Aug. 2
July 25, 2009, 11:53am

The Armada de la Republica de Colombia (ARC) Gloria, a brig type sail-training ship of the Republic of Colombia, is scheduled to visit the Philippines from July 30 to August 2, 2009. Under the command of Captain Luis Jorge Tovar Neira, ARC Gloria is now on its 63rd cruise to showcase Colombian history to the foreign dignitaries who step onboard and to forge international ties with other countries.

ARC Gloria was named after Mrs. Gloria Zawadsky de Rebeiz, wife of the former Colombian Defense Minister, General Gabriel Rebeiz Pizarro. Inspired by the vision of then commander of the Colombian Navy, Vice Admiral Orlando Lemaitre Torres, to have a Naval Training ship for the needs of his Navy cadets, General Rebeiz signed a peculiar pact on a piece of napkin that stated, “worth one sailboat.”

This, in turn, paved the way for a formal contract to be signed with the Society of Spanish Naval Construction in Bilbao on October 6th of 1966, the result of which is ARC Gloria - a steel-hulled training vessel regally afloat with a length of 76 meters, a beam of 10.6 meters, and a displacement of 1,300 tons.

From then till now, ARC Gloria continues to train and nurture Colombia’s sailors, honing their skills in coastal and astronomical navigation, operations of modern communications equipment, and equipping them with skills and know-how to effectively patrol and defend Colombia’s waters. Aside from this, the training ship has also been providing its students with a unique opportunity to promote Colombia’s rich culture, arts, geography, tourism, and commercial possibilities as they sail around the world. ARC Gloria has already sailed a total of 700,000 miles (equivalent to 30 trips around the world), remained at sea for nearly 6,850 days, and has visited 180 ports in 70 countries, spreading the goodwill of the Colombian nation.

Docking at Pier 13 of the South Harbor, Port Area, Manila, ARC Gloria invites the public to view the scores of pre-Colombian gold and ceramic artifacts on display during guided tours of the ship’s premises on August 1, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., and August 2, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Entrance is free. Onboard to greet guests will be a full crew of 176, around 120 of who are cadets

Nope, I didn't edit the email, except for the "Dagger" part, of course (just replaced my name). Hayy, bahala na. Some real entry to follow soon...

***

I have been weird with my tweets lately. Kasi naman, if someone you consider your friend is such a sloppy liar, tapos you are getting the feeling that the so-called friend really isn’t one, must you do the same? Alam ko, it really shouldn’t matter if your so-called friend doesn’t “befriend” you back, as long as you like him to be your friend. Pero, blatant lies absolutely says “No, you are not my friend, no matter how much friendly I appear to be, and no matter how much I give the impression that I trust you”.

Para Kay B

Tapos ko na basahin ang book ni Ricky Lee. (Actually, matagal ko nang tapos basahin ito). Ayun. Okay lang. Parang may part lang talaga na korny. Basta. Pakiramdam ko, na-desperado na si Ricky Lee kung paano nya pupunuuin ng mga salita yung mga pahinang yun kaya korny lumabas. Ayos naman yung book. Okay naman yung philosophies nito. At talagang sinunod nya yung premise, isa lang talaga ang masaya out of five. Pero parang mali yung statistics. I mean, twenty percent ang masaya? As in yung totoong masaya ah, hindi yung relatively masaya lang. Pakiramdam ko mas mababa pa dun. Siguro maximum na ang ten percent.

Anyway, basta lamang pa rin ang mga miserable. Yun naman talaga yung point nung book eh. Ipaalam sa ating lahat ang alam na natin talaga--- na mahirap magmahal. Na kakayod ka talaga. Mag-eefort. You should be working your ass off. Pero pag tama ang timpla mo (Pop Cola?), maswerte ka. Yun nga lang, statistically speaking e madalas mali timpla natin sa pag-ibig (Daw. I doubt naman kung me statistical study talaga that proves nga na 4 out of 5 ang devastated sa pag-ibig.).

May kaibigan ako, sabi nya gusto nya inaalagaan siya sa isang relasyon. Siya lang daw mag-aalaga kung mahal niya talaga yung tao. Ang gago, ano? Kaya lang, ganun talaga e. He wasn’t really into any of his ex-girls. So yung past relationships niya eh, miserable yung mga ekis nya, hindi lang dahil sa hindi nagpipigil yung kaibigan ko while they are having sex (iniisip ko kung nag-orgasm ba yung mga ekis nya, eh sabi mismo ng kaibigan ko, “seconds” lang daw e tapos na siya agad), kundi dahil sa parang tanga sila na “minahal” yung kaibigan ko (na, inamin naman nya sa kin, sina-satiate niya lang naman yung libido niya). Syempre, yung kaibigan ko rin, pathetic. He’s looking for love but settling for something less. Ouch. Ouch lang talaga. Oh, well.

May kaibigan naman akong feeling ko masyadong hopeless romantic. Masyadong hung-up sa “crush” nya dati. At mataas ang panlasa sa guys (pero yung crush nya, it does not fit her type). Kaya lang, gusto ko sabihin sa kanya, na sa real world na ginagalawan natin pare-pareho, uber-good looking guys (actually, lahat ng guys) would go after girls with very, very attractive and alluring physique. Either mag make-over muna sya or alisin nya ang manang within her. Sabi nga sa forwarded text message sa akin noon, talo daw ang mga magagandang babae sa malanding babae. I don’t know, Maybe my friend just needs to let her hair down a little bit. A little lang ah, I’m not saying she should be a slut.

Siguro nga, masyado nang ideal yung ideal na pag-ibig, parang alamat na lang yun. Ewan. Kasi kahit naman si Ricky Lee siguro, hindi naman eksperto sa pag-ibig. Yung mga Love experts? Ewan. Eksperto siguro sa kompromiso. I think real love is beyond us, so we are lucky if we felt it. What do I know, really? I ain’t an expert myself. I’m just talking my ass off.

Pointing Things Out

Isusulat ko ang entry na ito sa TagLish para mas malinaw.

Para sa Iyo,

Tulad ng sinabi ko sa text message ko sa iyo noong Biyernes, hindi ako nakikipag-away. Sinabi ko lang sa iyo yung nagiging lagay ko. Oo, I have been rude nung Thursday night pero what d’you expect? I left the place at 6 am for work, and I returned at what time? 10:30pm? 11:00pm? With music blaring loud, and your “bisitaS” still there, hanging with you. (I’d like to emphasize the S, meaning it’s more than one, like always). Would you rather have me in a confrontational state then, throwing hissy fits around? (Though I don’t really know what exactly is a hissy fit. It sounds very revolt-ey). So mas maigi na yung di ko kayo pinagpapapansin, at nagtulug-tulugan ako despite the music you’re playing. Although, I have to admit, I felt a little revenge-y then, kaya nga kahit pagod na pagod at puyat na puyat na ako, I think I still managed to disturb your sleep then.

You know what’s very wrong with what happened this week? You left me alone with your bisita, like you always do. Critical point has been reached, eh. Buti sana kung ang alam ng mga bisita mo e magka-roomies lang tayo, ang kaso your official story to everyone about us being cousins is out there, so alangan namang hayaan ko lang yung bisita mo dun, tratuhin kong invisible sila, o di kaya di ko na lang talaga pansinin. She actually asked where I am from, and I was confused kung ano ba ang isasagot ko. Should I lie? Should I tell the truth? Don’t worry, I gave an answer that would fit a gray area. Kung alam nilang roomies lang tayo, di ko man sila kausapin, tratuhin ko man silang invisible if I want to, it wouldn’t matter, kasi I am not obligated to cater to them. Hindi ako ma-oobliga na asikasuhin sila, kasi technically, bisita mo lang sila, hindi natin. I would not have the feeling of being obligated na asikasuhin ang mga bisita mo.

I’m gonna tell you the issue I had this week. When I got there mula sa ‘min nung Monday, andoon na yung bisita mo. Well, you forewarned me naman eh. Don’t misinterpret this, hindi ko issue yung mismong bisita mo; I do not have anything against them. Puyat ako noon, and I really want to sleep early. Six in the morning nga ang pasok ko di ba? Didn’t it even occur to you na I’m texting you that night kasi I want to sleep so bad already. You jokingly (I hope it was a joke) texted back asking me kung di ko na matagalan yung bisita mo. Can you recall me asking you how our sleeping arrangements will be? Kasi antok na antok na ako noon. Kasi I badly want and need to sleep na. Pero nag-overtime ka sa work mo, eh. Sinabi ko ba sa bisita mo na, “Hoy alam mo puyat ako, bahala ka dyan sa buhay mo, gusto ko na matulog!” Hindi naman di ba? I was being polite. I was accompanying your bisita. Trying to make her feel at home, make her feel not so out of place. Alam mo yun, yung hindi ko naman siya hinayaan na nakatitig na lang sa kawalan mag-isa niya. At ginagawa ko yun habang antok na antok na ako.

The next day, ganun pa rin. I was expecting you to be home, para naman asikasuhin yung bisita mo. But surprise! Umuwi ka pala sa inyo. You’re texting me on how me and your bisita should arrange our sleep. Ay naku! Late na bumalik si bisita, tapos ayun, sorry, di ko talaga masunod yung sleeping arrangement na iniinsist mo. So nung nag-insist yung bisita mo na sa sofa siya, hindi na ako tumanggi. Dahil nga pagod na pagod at antok na antok na ako.

So the next night, when your visitors moved out, it was such a relief. Again, walang problema yung bisita mo. Siya pa nga nagsabi sa kin na she’ll move na that night. Nung gabi lang na yun ko nalaman na umuwi ka pala sa inyo the day before. Di mo na nakikita that something’s wrong with what you did? Di ko naman kaibigan yung iniwan mo, di mo rin naman ako kamag-anak para ako mag-tend sa visitor mo, at di rin naman ako obligated para asikasuhin at siguraduhing hindi naO-OP yung bisita mo.

And of course, the infamous Thurday evening, kung saan yes, nagdabog ako. Nkwento ko na yung side ko of this story sa simula nitong entry.

So nung Friday, inaasahan ko I would be able to rest, play some music, maybe sing along few songs. Surprise! May bisita ka na naman. At ibang tao ulit. At wala ka ulit dun, kasi nga 2pm na ang labas ko, and 6pm ka pa uuwi. That’s when I decided to inform you. Sobra na kasi. I decided na magpunta na lang sa bangko. Pagbalik ko, aba, nandoon pa rin bisita mo. Alam mo yun? Di ako makagalaw ng maayos. Nagsumiksik lang ako sa pwesto ko, sa kama, hanggang sa dapuan ako ng antok at makatulog na talaga.

We agreed we can bring friends over. Except for 3 friends on 3 different occasions (you invited my friend over dun sa isa), na magkakalayo ang panahon na dinala ko yung mga bisita ko na yun, ala ka nang naabutan na bisita ko dun. Hindi ko hinahayaang ma-out of place ka. Hindi kami nagsasalita sa dialect na kami lang ang nakakaintindi. (Pagdating dito, I applaud your bestfriend. I do remember nung unang nagpunta siya dun, siya pa talaga ang nagsabi sa ’yo na managalog. Kasi nga kahit saan namang kultura, I believe, kabastusan yung isang grupo kayo ng mga tao tapos may isang hindi nakakaintindi ng salita ninyo, and yet lahat kayo nagsasalita in your dialect. That’s the moment I decided I like your bestfriend, kasi it showed me he knows respect. Naging komportable lang ata sya na magsalita in your dialect nung nagulat sya na na-decipher ko ang sinabi nya tungkol sa Spongebob). At hindi kita iniiwan kasama ng mga bisita ko. (Oo, I was rude during the time we were having a fight at dala-dala mo yung gang mo nun, at nagpa-iwan ako talaga nung nandun ang bestfriend mo nung unang beses na nagkita kami. Like i said, your bestfriend was straing into space a lot then, at ikaw na may sabi na problemado yung tao). Napaka-frequent kasi, at iba-ibang crowd pa.

You always said that when you were with your ex-girl, she brought out the best in you, that you were a lot better person when you are with her. I can definitely see that now. In fact, when I think about it, our fights started when you broke up with your girl. That’s when you started bringing the whole baranggay to spend three nights on what feels to be in a bi-weekly basis. Well, sana lang, this doesn’t mean you will start degrading into the person you were before you met your ex. It makes me wonder you know, why look for a roomate when you are bringing friends with you that frequent? Do you seriously want me out para nga you can let your gang hang out there freely? Then tell me so, in my face. Besides, the now less than twenty-one days you gave me in your text message doesn’t seem enough time for me to look for another place, but if you are really serious, then I will move out. You still haven’t given me a straight up answer why’d look for a roomate in the first place. But know that I still, and I think I always will look up to you, like a kuya, despite all this.

PS. This entry may be angsty, but really, I’m just trying to point things out. Sabi ka ng sabi ng “magaspang” ang ugali ko, but when I am asking you to explain to me kung paanong naging “magaspang” ang ugali ko, you just evaded the question (is it because you cannot think of an incident na magaspang nga ang ugali ko, except for that Thursday night pagdadabog that I did?)

Current Dilemma

What if you thought you want something but when you sort of have something similar to it, you found out that you could really go on without it? I got myself into a pseudo-relationship right now. Okay, it really is a relationship, but… I sort of feel, not really, you know? Should one be in love already to get himself in a relationship with a person? Honestly, I’m thinking that I am feeling this way because I am hung up with someone; that I still am (subconsciously) thinking of me and that someone being together. Dang!

I am thinking of dropping what I feel for both of them and focus back on me. I don’t like this thing I feel, really. I’m the one whose heart always gets broken; I don’t break people’s hearts. The difficult thing to do is erasing what I feel for that someone, the not pseudo-special person in my life but I wanted to be. Pseudo-special person and I talked about it before, and that we would both be okay with it no matter what I decide to do.

I have once again proved that the world is a lonely place to live. I mean, it is so damn easy have a special connection, a special bond with a person, but to stand up for it and fight for it is really difficult. It is. Either way, I don’t think I am really ready for a real relationship, and most of the time I am wondering, am I ever going to be ready for that something wonderful in my life? But I know, I have it in me. There are days I am so sure of myself. I know some friends would say, practice makes perfect; that maybe I need to expose myself to this experiences. But I don’t--- I don’t need to cut myself with a knife just to know I’d bleed, right?

Anyway, I actually feel uneasy laying my story like this. I just e-mailed my best friend on what she thinks I should do. Oh, well. I guess, I’ll just let the dice roll like that.

***

Would you be too concerned if like your little brother turns out to be gay? I have a friend, and he’s so concerned because there are people who approached him and asked if his “little brother” is gay (My friend knows about his “little brother” being a homo. Well, this entry might explain things). I told him, it shouldn’t be a problem. Ultimately, the choice of his “little brother” is what matters and what is important is that he won’t live a miserable life in the future. My friend’s just unsure of what I said.

Charmander

Naabutan ko ang ate ko na inaayos ang mga lumang damit and stuffs na ipapamigay na daw nila sa mga kapit-bahay na mas nangangailangan nun. Ang dami kasi nilang damit na luma eh. At saka, lumalaki na rin ang mga pamangkin ko. So, hayun, inayos niya.

Pati mga lumang laruan ipapamigay na rin nila. Yung isang pamangkin ko kasi na Grade 3 na ngayong pasukan, ipapamigay na ang Charmander stuff toy niya. Palibhasa, Mr. Bean na ang kinahuhumalingan, kaya naman si Teddy na ang bagong stuff toy na madalas niya kasama.

In-inspeksyon ko si Charmander. Okay pa naman. Kung papipiliin ako sa mga Pokemon, base sa cute-ness, si JiggyPuff ang pipiliin ko. Pero kung coolness ang basehan, sa Psyduck, alang duda. (Alam ko, di na nakakarelate ang mga hindi naman nakapanood ng Pokemon.)

Pero dahil sa na-cute-an ako sa Charmander stuf toy, ah, napagdsisyunan ko na hingin na lang yun. Hehehe, oo. Kung kelan namang bente-singko na ako, tsaka ko nagmay-ari ng stuff toy.

So hayun. Inuwi ko si Charmander sa aking inuupahang espasyo malapit sa trabaho. Natatawa ko, kasi ang sabi ni Roomie, nakakatakot daw si Charmander. Siguro kasi may pangil. At taga Digimon daw yun. Sabi ko, hindi ah. Sa Pokemon yan.

At nung nilagnat ako, naisip ni Roomie na baka daw na-nuno ako dun kay Charmander. Nakakatawa lang.

Pero sa totoo lang, kaya ko kinuha si Charmander ay dahil sa naaalala ko ang mga pamangkin ko. It reminds me of being innocent. Of being care-free. It reminds me of home.

Mas astig pa rin sana kung si Psyduck na lang ang nagustuhan ng pamangkin ko noon.

**********

Kasalukuyan kong binabasa ang book ni Ricky Lee. Hmm... Nakaka-dalawang kwento pa lang ako. Parang di ko gusto ang theory nya, na apat sa lima ang devastated dahil sa pag-ibig. But... that’s reality kung tutuusin. Oh well. Tapusin ko muna yung book.

May question nga pala ako sa karamihan, o sa kahit sinong (sana) magbigay pansin: would you date a disabled person? Kakayanin mo bang ma-in love sa isang taong may kapansanan? Hmm... kasi yung One Liter of Tears, eh. Kung anu-ano tuloy tanong pumapasok sa isip ko. (Defensive mode: Hindi ako nanonood ng OLoT, kundi ang nanay ko.)

Note: Parang naparami ang pics ng entry na ito. Haay...